Overnight Celebrity.

2008-08-28T23:17:00.001-06:00

life is so bad ass i can hardly even stand it.

I'd do it.

2008-08-01T09:23:00.003-06:00

Three cheers for those who travel halfway across the country for booty.
Good luck, girl.

but seriously.

2008-05-03T23:31:00.001-06:00

i think it's perfectly acceptable for a rock star to turn down a night out with thirty-five italian men in business suits for a glass of pinot noir at home.

agree or disagree?

2008-03-06T09:16:00.002-06:00

Anyone else feel like the only person in a three hundred mile radius who is not eating broccoli on the regular?

2008-02-02T12:09:00.000-06:00

having consistent sex dreams will lead to making out with random dudes in bars.

booty out.

M.I.A.

2008-01-09T17:36:00.000-06:00

Where are my rock stars at?

I'm fairly sure that my rock stars have been active all over the place as of late. Shit, there was almost a house fire due to rock star-related activity, and New Year's Eve was created specifically for rock stars.

My rock star status is "student with a full-time job" so my stories from here on out are going to be mild (at best). Uh, I drank five beers with a Chicago rock star yesterday at a family restaurant? We talked about vulgar things and sticking it to the man pretty loudly? Weak.

I'm especially looking at you post-college rock stars: I expect nothing short of the fantastic from you.

2007-09-13T22:14:00.000-06:00

it is sitting in the living room. that forrest greeen chair tthat i want to fuck like an animal. i took you out of the wild and brought you back to life in the labratory and videotaped you for all to see. i will write about you someday and what you do to everyone. i don't know how you got here. did you walk? did someone carry you on their back through the rough torain of duluth minnesota. i think you're crazy the way you are so brave i hope someday to be just like you i want to walk like you talk like you too.

absolutely.

2007-09-05T01:25:00.000-06:00

freaks & geeks, dude, bill & vicky made out during 7 minutes in heaven. onalaksa makes strong old fashionds. plus i sat on a balcony. my friends wanted to jump from the balcony to the trampoline. i took pictures, don't worry. i am going to miss it here, because, aside from duluth, this place is the best, and i am so goddamn serious. my friends here rule, oh god, they rule. plus as my going away present jackie and tim bought me three olives chocolate vodka. oh my god, seriously guys, you don't know la crosse. wait. they don't love you like i love you. i threw shit out of tim's car.

bulldog sighting 854.

2007-07-26T10:06:00.000-06:00

he must live around where i nanny... because i've been seeing him on the daily. we stare at each other. what's up man?

2007-07-20T08:02:00.001-06:00

who knew that broccoli was served in onalaska??

2007-07-14T10:38:00.000-06:00

they said i look like meg white, and he digs that. waiters from olive garden, high school boys, titties, sarah fuller. it's all too good to be true, right? the sun is out and this is the way days should be started everyday.

family vacations = no sexy poo.

2007-07-04T07:04:00.000-06:00

somewhere between ohio and indiana, i started thinking about sex. no. that's not right. i've been thinking about sex for the last three weeks. or three months. shit. whatever. long drives on long boring roads in ohio/indiana/upstate new york/massachusetts WILL lead to thoughts of sex. not that i'm planning on getting laid this week (although it would be nice) i've been trying to find the most desirable person to fuck. and it's slim pickings on the cape. first of all, i haven't been with anyone my age... in... i don't know... almost never. usually 4 years or older. well. i had to up it to 10 years here because there are no 20 something year olds to fuck around here. if they are in their 20's i promise you they are probably gay. provincetown is gay. gay. gay. gay. wonderful! but gay. so i'm on to daddies. daddies i'd like to fuck (dilf's) or fuckable daddies (fd). they're around. i've got my eyes on them. i see you cute man without a wedding ring playing with your child in the water. yeah, that's right. your hot and i'm on vacation a few cocktails in. oh wait am i creeping you out. i'll just look the other way, now you can see how tan i've been getting. sexy right? and this is when the kid stars crying and the babbies mama comes out and i take my cue to forget about sex on family vacations.

The Rock Star and The Frat Bar.

2007-06-29T13:47:00.000-06:00

"It's Ladies' Night at the Animal House, we should go," Jackie said to me. I wrinkled my nose. Ladies' Night? What does that usually mean? A crowded, sweaty-ass bar filled to the brim with boys looking to score and girls wearing clothing one size too small.

"Come on," she said. "Fifty cent drinks all night. Any drink. Top shelf, anything." I sighed. I need to get out more anyway.

We parked in the ramp across the street and I saw a line outside. God. We were carded by a big man in an orange shirt that read RESIDENT ADVISOR and immediately I was hit with the intense bass line of some shitty-ass hip hop song and the overpowering smell of Axe Bodyspray. The place was well-lit, but I couldn't even see the bar.

I grabbed Tim's back and Jackie's hand and we attempted to maneuver around the skanky girls and the leering boys. After waiting a full ten minutes, we finally got up to the bar, and immediately I set my elbow in a puddle of beer.

"ALKSOEIL MNZXKWIU?" Jackie shouted.
"WHAT?"
"WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DRINK?" she shouted much closer to my face. I couldn't see the bar except for the beer list, so I decided to have a good ol' Premium.

We smashed ourselves into two unoccupied feet of space; Tim grabbed a chair and the two of us crowded around him. I spent the majority of the time pivoted sideways, making myself as small as possible so as not to obstruct what was apparently the aisle to get to the bar.

Being in the Animal House made me feel like I was working at Frankie's again, but much skankier and, believe it or not, drunker. Watching the crowd was fantastic, however. Drunk, drunk boys trying to get random girls to buy them drinks (because they're fifty cents, of course). Girls chatting up the baseball players. Every now and again, a couple would start dirty dancing as they tried to move past us, which was awesome to watch.

With Drink Two, I chose a Tanqueray Rangpur and tonic, taking advantage of the fifty cent deal. The mistake was having a Drink Two. As the moments passed, the place got nastier and nastier. I sat in beer, I stepped in beer, I set my purse in beer, I put my hand in beer... pretty much everything ended up touching beer in one way or another.

Of course, I had to use the bathroom. With my Cocktail Waitress Skills Of Steel, I was able to politely work my way through the crowd with a surprising efficiency. Once inside, I realized I was in the world's smallest bathroom. Seriously, I managed to smash a girl behind the door, and, of course, step in a lot of toilet water. Awesome.

I left the bathroom to find a huge crowd. They were just chilling in front of the bathrooms, doing their thing, not realizing that I needed to get the fuck out. I tried to be polite, I tried to use my expert pivoting skills and well-placed nudges, but I had had enough. I quite literally shoved my way back to my friends. We slammed our Rangpur tonics and I dragged them out into the cool, crisp, Axe-free oxygen.

Screw frat bars, ladies' nights and all. Give me a smaller, quieter bar, good music, and a good beer, and I'm golden.

My .02.

2007-06-26T16:41:00.001-06:00

I say we make this blog about our general rock and/or roll lifestyles. Sex, hangovers, live music, Bulldog sightings, whatever it is that we celebrities do.

Aye? Nay?

Me again

2007-06-25T18:24:00.000-06:00

No, I have not updated my other blog in a week and yes, I am well aware of that. But lets be honest here, I think about sex more than I think about anything of any normal sort of variety. One of my long lost friends back home has a new profession as a Pure Romance hostess...you know those people who go to parties and try to sell women sex toys, which they are too embarrassed to buy and usually just purchase some sort of flavored lube instead? Yeah, those ones.

Anyway, she gave me the website because I am in the market for a new gadget, considering my bullet has developed some severe form of narcolepsy and always falls asleep when I need it most. This way, I figured I would be helping myself out AND helping a friend. Always thinking of others, that Fuller girl. So I am looking through the variety of vibrating, gyrating toys when I think to myself: Wouldn't it be fun to be able to test all these before you buy them? There are a bunch of things to sample, either by yourself or with others, and it would be one hell of a week (no way you could do all this shit in the matter of a day).

This concept of being able to test all these sex toys got me thinking about sex in general and then I was done for. Thinking about sex while living at your parents house is just about equal to thinking about running down the beach when you are sitting in a jail cell. It ain't gonna happen. Not no way, not no how. And it hurts me to realize that the possibility of me getting laid anytime soon is so unbelievably minuscule that I might explode before my next opportunity arrives.

So all of you who are enjoying your daily fuck, I say, enjoy it while it lasts. Work it out like you have never worked it out before. When you're good and finished, you can find me here on my computer, shopping for a partner that operates on double A's. Maybe the one that is shaped like King Tut even.

I have an idea

2007-06-22T21:28:00.000-06:00

Since no one apparently gets drunk in Duluth (I'm not buying that one for a minute) I think we should change this blog to Perfect Duluth Sex. The reason I'm saying this is because I want to write an entry about sex...probably about three times a week. But I can't on my other bloggy because parents and other adult like figures read it. And I think my mom could decipher the broccoli reference pretty quickly when there are words like 'orgasm' associated with it, because really, if my broccoli ever had one of those, I don't think I could eat it anymore.

I don't even know if people check this anymore, but I don't care, I'm going to start writing in it when I feel like it. First topic? Threesomes. Would you ever? Why or why not? What would your rules be? I'm just curious what your opinions are on the matter.

And Anne, you better get to making a new banner ;)

WORK IT OUT.

2007-05-09T00:17:00.000-06:00

sometimes you may not get it. but that's alright. i'm here to explain it. YOU HAVE TO WORK IT OUT. stretch it right. you fucking know??!!?!?!? put it in the right spot, bitches. i can't even explain that you have to WORK IT OUT.

2007-04-11T01:02:00.000-06:00

the truth is here the truth is here. the truth is here the truth is here.

whaat what what whaaaaaaaaaaaat.
i met brother ali in the bathroom. the truth.

i drank too much pbr the trush.

i put all of the things on our table by the windo. the truth.

the turth is here the truth is ehre. i can't even look with my eyes. i have one eye closed but really i'm not looking at all so wish me well its like i'm blind but im drunk and the truth is here the truth is here. goodsex. crew jones. banjones. brother ali in the bathrom oberon as the beer of the moooooonrth. what what what what what.

Megan "BoozeTime BoozeTime" Pelowski.

2007-03-30T12:05:00.000-06:00

Observe the wild Drunk Duluthian in her natural habitat.

Be careful not to disturb her.

2007-03-27T22:00:00.000-06:00

can it be boozetime boozetime ALL the time.

please?

2007-03-14T16:20:00.000-06:00

2007-03-04T02:08:00.000-06:00

whenever idrink this much. im like fuck bitch no one wants to know you throw penuts. but BITCH i do. i throw them. and i drink too mucj. and yeah. i drink. i throw.

funny story. when i get bored t work i start fights. one girl likes birds. i like cats. when i piss her off she says im going to take your cat and grab it by gthe tail and throw it across the room. an i laugh at her. becausre really. where the fuck is kiko. tell me bitch.l

2007-03-03T08:53:00.000-06:00

snowy drunk sled, sarah halie 21st fun po po yell yay!

Translation:
Sarah and Halie and myself, after some drinking games here at our quaint abode decided to play outside in the snow. After much running, jumping, and digging, we decided to go sledding, the nearest hill was 21st ave east. While sledding down the hill a police truck stopped and told us not to sled in the street. so we stopped, until he was 2 blocks away and hidden in the snow. And it was good.

Yay!

h2ows lsed

2007-03-01T23:21:00.000-06:00

snowy drunk sled, sarah halie 21st fun po po yell yay!

Anoka.

2007-02-28T22:12:00.000-06:00

Hey.
Look what I found.

This is my first time!

2007-02-22T18:40:00.000-06:00

Hello everyone some of you may not know me but my name is leanna. anne has invied me to post here so i may be making an apperance from time to time. since you may be reading my blogs let me tell you a little about my self and how i blog. i am a "Wheel of Fourtune" loving girl from duluth, whoo hoo duluth!! at times my blogs may be offensive and non-sensical, i don't spell very well and my punctuation leaves something to disire so if this bothers you, well you don't have to read my posts but i hope you will overcome your grammatical nit-pickings and enjoy!!

a present for the girl i love.

2007-02-19T13:11:00.000-06:00

valentines day delight!

2007-02-15T11:19:00.000-06:00

i told myself, just one glass of wine.
then we ordered another bottle of wine at dinner.

even though i told myself i wasn't going to the red star
due to my illness, the wine started making decisions for me.

hot.

sarah has the "gurrrrrl" face.
and i look sick, and my hand looks huge.
here's to hoping i learn how to hold a martini glass gracefully, someday.

tony has been known to be a red star hater,
but he enjoyed the delicious happy hour prices.

something was hilarious

sarah tried to tell us

but we'll never know.

for your listening pleasures, here is sarah on the car ride home.

kiko wanted some valentines loving before the night was over.

i hope you all enjoyed your valentines day.
i love you.

and ps.
here is an open invitation to ALL of my friends
to call me whenever they need a safe ride home.
cause god knows everyone has been toting my drunk ass around.
especially jason, tony, and sarah. i owe you.

pre/post shots.

2007-02-11T12:28:00.000-06:00

black and white party
allie, chin, myself and jason

culprit - tequila

bjorn's birthday, sir ben's
myself, kristen, bjorn, and megan

culprit - i don't remember

new years 2006
tony, ann perkins, myself

culprit - tequila
resulting in the best picture
ever taken.

I suppose it's my turn... although I'm sure you've seen this before.

2007-02-08T23:24:00.000-06:00

We are hung over.
We are very hung over.
This is not a new feeling, however. Between the two of us, Anne and Leanna, we do rather well for ourselves, alcoholically-speaking.

Today we are, as previously specified, The Simultaneous Hickey Girls, which is rather a self-explanatory title. It just so happens that on the same night, the two of us had the privilege of getting our necks molested by members of the male gender. While this is apparently routine behavior for Anne, it is territory not visited by Leanna in two years.

Picture this: we are drunk.
We are very drunk.

Anne had started much earlier than Leanna, but, being the pro that she is, Leanna had no trouble catching up. Eighties music pulsating around us, we throw ourselves into the mess that is the dance floor on Wednesdays at the Red Star. Skirts are twirling, hands are being flung this way and that, hips are gyrating, and we continue drinking. "PUT IT ON MY TAB!" Anne yells. "I NEED A CIGARETTE!" Leanna calls. We are dancing, loud, and drunk.

There comes a point in the night where we decide to make out with the same boy -- not at the same time, of course, but the two of us have previously established a rule that we do not share when it comes to the boys. Apparently we were drunk enough that it didn't really matter. It was almost as if we were taking turns. He was like a big hunk of man meat for us to share as we pleased.

And share we did. All night long, we trade off, making out with this poor boy. Our friends watch the spectacle as if it were a train wreck... they can't look away. Mouths hang open as they watch the two of us dance around this boy, wedging ourselves between each other, trying to get at the man meat.

In hindsight, we are slightly embarrassed at our decidedly slutty behavior, but neither of us feel too badly -- he seemed to be enjoying himself just fine.

(It is at this point in the story that it should be mentioned that our hickeys came from different men. Slutty, slutty, slutty.)

The night ended with us going our separate ways -- Anne to Carmodys, Leanna to an eventual drunken slumber. We compare stories and hickeys when we reconvened today over a medley of greasy Perkins food, as we do many a morning.. er, afternoon... make that early evening.

We are not alcoholics.

We are Liquor Legends.

I'm the one with the test story

2007-02-08T17:15:00.000-06:00

This tale never gets old.

Scene: Freshman year, triple dorm, late at night

I had been studying all week for the big sociology test on Friday morning, so when someone popped their head in our room and asked if we wanted to drink, the answer was a much needed 'Hell yes'. I was still far underage, so drank whatever booze was available to me, in this instance, Mickey's bombs from my last trip home. Mickey's is an awful malt liquor that is usually sold in 40's. These were just mini sized.

The night was just like any other night of casual drinking, and E and I retired to our respective bunks feeling just fine. But apparently that wasn't the case. I'm not sure if it was the disgusting booze I had or if my body just felt like hating me, but when I woke up, I could barely lift my head up off the pillow. I rolled over and noticed a ridiculously disgusting substance next to my head and realized I had thrown up over the course of the night. What the hell? I couldn't even recall such things happening. Then I looked down from my bunk and saw a trash bucket and the same substance all over E's bed. Apparently I had been narfing all night long.

I got up to try to make sense of it all, but my whole body just wanted me to lay the fuck down. My test was in 15 minutes and I could still barely stand. My friend Michelle linked arms with me, and between support from her and the wall, I finally stumbled down to Boh90 to get the stupid test over with. We got our tests and the second I tried to start reading it, I got completely dizzy and had to run out of the room all the way down to the bathroom, where I considered to get very very sick for a matter of minutes. I walked out looking like death and decided I need to get this test over IMMEDIATELY.

I sat back down, took a deep breath, and just started going. I had thankfully studied so much that I didn't even have to read the whole question, I could just link words from the question to the answer. I scrambled through the test in about 10 minutes and started to stand up when the dizziness hit me again. I sat back down and tried to refrain myself, but the reading had made me so sick I couldn't hold it anymore. And out it came, lovely beautiful vomit, in the middle of the lecture hall. And all over my test. Jenna and Michelle looked at me in total awe with wide eyes and I didn't know what to do. But I had to get the hell out of there. So I ran down the stairs and when I reached the teacher he asked "Are you feeling alright?" and I just looked at him silently, handed him my puke covered test, and ran out of my room.

E and I just happened to be going to see a John Mayer concert in the cities that day, and after all of this madness I had to get in a car and drive for 2 hours. It was only about 45 degrees out but the cold felt SO good, and I passed out with my head hanging out of the completely opened window. When I woke up an hour later, the heat was on full blast and E's teeth were chattering from being so cold. What a good friend.

The best part about this story is that I ruled hardcore and got a 92% on the test.

Lesson learned: Life is great, Mickey's is bad, and I am too smart for my own good.

you just don't know what you do to me.

2007-02-08T00:46:00.000-06:00

so the brewhouse... turned into the red star. and i don't know how it happened.

i have an exam tomorrow.

and my hiccups finally went away.

jason i owe you.

No way Jose

2007-02-07T11:21:00.000-06:00

This is one of my favorite drunk stories ever, Minus someone else's that involves a test (intentionally vague to inspire a post *hint*) and it just happens to be my story. So I'll start at the beginning, naturally.

I was at my friend's cabin we were drinking up a storm, I was drinking Captain and Root beer mostly, but for some reason decided to switch to Captain and Crystal Lite, don't ask why, everything seems to be a good idea when you party with the Captain. There were 5 of us drinking our souls away, Justin (his cabin) his GF Leah, Vanessa, and a girl I liked Melissa.

So we decided to do a shot and go swimming.

I chased it with water...why? because I was drunk and didn't like beer at the time. Take advice from me, don't ever chase with water. Anyway, the story unfolds...

Vanessa, Melissa, and myself go out and play on the water tramp and float in our life jackets having a good 'ol time, all the while Melissa and I get secretly flirty. So we all decide we are too drunk to know when we are too cold to go in, so we assumed that it was time to go in. before we died floating.

After we got in the other two had disappeared so we three decided shots were the way to go, Vanessa brings her good friend Jose to the table saying, "Tony you need to take a shot for me!" I agree and took it like a pro. A minute or so later, Melissa says coyly, "Tony take a shot for me." OK i agreed. Just then Justin comes down and pours me a shot he said I HAD to take this one, reluctantly, I did.
(Three shots + already drunk)10 minutes tops = [two paragraphs down].

For some reason someone says, welp I'm tired. Everyone agreed, I follow Melissa downstairs, everyone else goes upstairs.

So we start making out, naturally.

I later uttered a phrase I hope to never ever say again, "I think I'm too drunk to make out."

"ok" she deservingly frustrated replied.

So I laid there, with the spins for a good minute. and suddenly had "the feeling".

Up I went to the door in a flash, Where is the knob I think to myself. SHIT SHIT SHIT WHERE IS THE KNOB. im scraping at the door like a puppy at this point. Melissa says Are you ok? "yes" I reply.

Just in time to barf in my mouth. Somehow I managed to keep it inside, now I am redoubling my efforts to find the doorknob. swallow a litte puke, Number two hits. Still manage to keep it in my mouth though. By this time I'm using my forearm to find this god damned doorknob (because it will cover more surface right?) and still scrape franticly away at the door

If you've ever opened a bottle champaign you know what happened next when round three struck.

I barfed everywhere.

All over the wall, the floor, me, the door, everywhere. Melissa the gem now decided to turn on the light. I found the knob(i was looking on the wrong side of the door) bolted to the bathroom and unloaded the last of my Crystal light, Captain, Rootbeer, and Jose mix into the toilet.

Upon returning to the room I found Melissa cleaning up my barf, and Justin asking me if we were having sex. Very far from it in fact. So we cleaned it up. I apologized a million times, Melissa assured me it was ok, and that everyone does it. She ushered me into the shower, afterwards I put on some shorts and went to back to bed.

Only now I was way less drunk, and still very, *Ahem*....In the mood. So I rolled over and we picked up right where we left off. =) For the remainder of the night.

Without cleaning my mouth in any way.

And that, my friends, was the night that the Captain and Jose got in a huge fight in my stomach. I say that the Captain was victorious, only because I still can't drink Tequila to this day without smelling and tasting the barfy Crystal Light/Jose/Captain mixture.

Sorry it was long, but its one of my favorites, but I hope it inspired you Perfect Duluth Drunks.

my favorite drunks.

2007-02-07T01:36:00.000-06:00

in no particular order.

Welcome.

2007-02-07T01:13:00.000-06:00

Ladies and gentlemen, drunk and sober, this is the brand new Perfect Duluth Drunk.

This is for those who want to remember things they otherwise would not be able to.

This is for those who are struck by sudden inebriated inspiration to write a haiku.

This is for those who had the best night out at the Red Star. Blackwoods. Pizza Luce. RT Quinlan's. The Brewhouse. Sir Benedict's. The Reef. Carmody's. The Pioneer. The Twins Bar. Superior. Minneapolis. Buttfuck, WI. Their basement. Their backyard. Anywhere.

This is for those who have a story to tell. Beers, shots, mixed drinks, wine, or straight liquor -- let the world know. Tell your boozy tales. Tell them drunk, sober, or hung over -- just tell them.

Want to post here? Ask.

The only rule here at Perfect Duluth Drunk is that you are not allowed to edit your posts once sober -- what goes up drunk, stays up drunk.

So let the drinking begin. Cheers.